Dec 10 - Witnesses to the Birth

This week we looked at the story of the nativity and the characters around it.

First we looked at the poor innkeeper.  Often given a bad rap for not finding a room for Mary and Joseph, in reality he may have been quite hospitable.  That barn that he put them in may have been quite regularly used as a guest room when there wasn't another available.  It was not unusual to place a baby in a manger.  Hay can be clean and soft and the mange about the right size to hold a baby.  Here was a business man, someone of ambiguous reputation, opening his home, or at least his outbuilding so this young mother could have her child under shelter. He RECEIVED them and the baby Jesus.

Angels sang of God's glory.  Through the music the message went out that something spectacular was happening.  Through the angels' song, not only was God glorified, but the humble everyday birth was proclaimed in a way definitely NOT humble. People started to get a hint that maybe this wasn't just another first time mom with bad timing. Mary praised God through song when she found out she was going to be Jesus' mother. Zechariah praised God when he regained his voice.  Elizabeth sang God's praises when her baby kicked at Mary's approach. The shepherds sang songs of praise after visiting the baby.  Music holds a powerful message - and we are called to share it.  So, with the angels we should SING out the Good news!

Wise men, Magi, came from the east looking for a spectacular new king. This is amazing on so many levels.  They weren't Jews yet they ventured into Jerusalem in their pursuit of the star and whatever it fortold.  They travelled for a very long time - possibly years as there were no planes, trains or automobiles.  They SOUGHT the new baby that would change the world.  They recognized that this child had significance, not only for the Jews but for them also.  When they found him, they WORSHIPPED him.  Not oohing and awing "oh how cute" - but kneeling prayer kind of worship.  These foreigners acknowledged Jesus' larger mission as from God.  In reverence and respect they brought the best of what was available in their land - Gold, Frankinscense and Myrhh.  They GAVE what they had in homage to this child. God, once again, uses the unexpected, the gentile travellers to show Jesus as a Messiah for all. There is so much we can learn from these strangers that wander into the story from afar then wander out again.

Shepherds, the kind of unclean, unsavory, strong "man's men" - were some of the first to see the baby.  I wonder what Mary thought when these men of dubious reputation (and odor?) came to see her precious baby. Did she wonder how they had heard?  Did she mind their outdoorsy dirt and smell?  Did she wonder at their reverence and respect?  Once again God has given the message of Jesus' birth, not to the regular, middle class religious Jewish type, but to the questionable, the outcast, the ones seen as not quite as good, not quite clean enough for civilized society. And what did they do? They saw the baby and they praised God! Most of us would quietly leave and talk just amongst ourselves, but they called it out, they sang, they praised God - they SPREAD THE WORD!

So the story of some ordinary newlyweds spreads out to include the extraordinary - but not necessarily in what would have been seen as in a good way.  Businessmen were sometimes fine - but other times were shifty and less than honest. Often they were well off and not seeking for a way out of their situations. The magi were foreigners - the Jewish religious people would have seen them as unclean. They were probably wealthy - not really in touch with everyday life.  The shepherds were even worse - at least the others were respectable people - the shepherds' reputation was dubious at best.  Yet Jesus came for all of them: The ordinary;The unclean; The Outsiders; the Low. And Jesus came for us, wherever we fit into the spectrum:  Priest or sinner; Clean or unclean; Ordinary or extraordinary. 
 
This seems to be the message at Christmas.  God comes in unexpected ways to meet all of us. We are all called to come to the stable - to receive the good news of Jesus' birth, to rejoice at God's goodness, to seek God's will, Worship at God's feet and bring whatever we can in homage.  Then we are called to spread the word - through speaking, through singing and through doing - and, like Mary, to ponder these things in our hearts.  This Christmas let us seek God and God's will in our lives.  Let us seek to understand the messages God is sending us through situations and people we meet, or through dreams and ideas that won't go away.  And let us always, always take time to sing, to pray, to worship.  For God is good.  Glory to God in the Highest!

December 3 - meeting the Ordinary that brought the Extraordinary

This week we looked at some of the people who closest to Jesus before and around the time of his birth.  What we found was a lot of regular people, devout people, people who quietly went about their day to day lives –   God broke in and surprised them. 

 Mary was a young girl, full of hopes and dreams for her future – looking forward to her wedding and then, in time, having a family with her new husband.  There was no indication that she was going to be instrumental in a revolution, in God’s plan to bring freedom and peace to the world.  Her life was turned upside down with the visit of an angel.  Not only was the choice of this regular girl unexpected – so was her response – not worry and fretting about what people, especially Joseph would think, but praise that God would bless her so unexpectedly. 

Zechariah was from the tribe that served in the temple.  He was no one particularly special in the public eye.  He had not managed to have sons so he may have been somewhat pitied.  He quietly went about his way – just another one of the family doing his duty.  Then God burst in and changed his life.  Zechariah could no longer perform some of his church tasks as he had no voice – but he was a witness to God’s presence as his inability to speak was understood as a sign from God.  After many years of wanting a son, of consoling his barren wife, of remaining true to his wife and to his faith, he found out he was going to be a father.  His life changed forever as his son became John the Baptist, a famous prophet, loved feared, followed and watched by many. 

Elizabeth, his wife and Mary’s elderly cousin, was also a regular woman.  She loved God and worshipped regularly, but was seen as somewhat less than women who had been able to have children.  There was a stigma, as if the childlessness was a punishment for something she or her husband or her parents had done.  Then God burst into her life – Taking away her husband’s ability to speak, allowing her to get pregnant, then making her the first person Mary went to when she found she was pregnant, the first person besides Mary to recognize the significance of the child that was to come. God burst into Elizabeth’s life and changed it forever.  It’s not that it was easier – giving birth to and raising a child at her age would have been difficult – not to mention watching him grow into the widely known but dangerously unconventional prophet would have given a mother lots of anxiety.  But Elizabeth, unassuming and previously looked down upon by others,  embraced her new life and felt richly blessed by God.  

Joseph, another regular guy, a carpenter preparing to wed Mary and start a life together, gets his life turned upside down when he discovers his betrothed is pregnant – and then is told in a dream to marry her anyway!  Suddenly extraordinary faith and endurance were called for from this ordinary man.  Through the months of watching Mary grow large with child, watching the child be born and strange people coming to see him, then having to leave for Egypt to keep the child safe – so much for the mundane life of a small town carpenter. 

After the baby is born we meet some more people deeply affected by Jesus’ birth. 

On his first trip to the temple Jesus is met by Simeon – an ordinary but devout man.  Prior to that day, Simeon was probably seen as just another old guy who went to the temple every day.  Very few, if any, people probably knew of his request to see the Messiah before he died.  Many people probably passed him by without even really noticing him.  But God granted his prayer to see the Messiah, and  then used  Simeon  to pass on a prophecy – to help Mary and Joseph prepare for what would lie ahead but also to show God’s presence in the infant so carefully held by this old man.  God changed his life.

They also met Anna. She is another interesting person.  An elderly widow who lived in the temple.  She was a prophet.  She seems to be quite friendly.  And she was another woman seen as less valuable because she came, not from Jerusalem or Bethlehem – but from a little place on the outskirts of Israel where people intermarried with non-Jews and may or may not remain true to the Israelite faith. I’m sure she spent a lot of time ignored, maybe even rudely so.  Perhaps she was seen as a little crazy.  She was such a fixture in the temple people may even have forgotten to notice she was there. This is not someone who would be at the top of the list for meeting the Messiah – yet she was. 

All through  the Christmas stories we see people who would not be the expected choice –for a mother, a father, a prophet’s parents, or one of the first recipients of the Messiah’s news – yet they were chosen to be just that.  God can burst into the most ordinary, the most painful, the most mundane life and make it something special.  God can use you. Whether you are super talented or feel totally untalented – God can use your hands, your voice, your life to make a difference.  Never feel like you are not good enough – because God is good enough for you – for me – for all of us fallible humans.  We just need to allow God to work through us.  Open your eyes and your arms and embrace whatever it is God is calling you to do or be – even if, for now, it is just ordinary.  You never know when God will burst in.

November 26 - Perfection for an imperfect world

Last week we looked at the broader picture of Jesus' birth in time.  We saw how God had promised and planned for Jesus to come.  When things were bad and it seemed evil was prevailing - God would tell the people to hang in, to trust, and salvation would come.  Often signs were given: some immediate, to say this was a true prophecy; others for the future, so people would know when the prophecy was fulfilled.  God worked through time to prepare people to receive this unconventional messiah.

This week we looked at the broader picture at the time of Jesus' birth - and discovered that, though Jesus was perfect, there was nothing else around that was.

The interesting thing is that we started with Galatians 3:26 - 4:7 - not your usual Advent passage. It tells us that, in Christ, we are all children of God.  This is why he came.  To break down barriers and allow everyone to come to God.  As one writer put it - to bring the end to religion  - and to race and social status.  The ideal result of Jesus' coming was a kind of unity and equality never experienced (as far as I know) by humankind.  This was not an "anti-racism" campaign, nor a "socialist" agenda - but a true end to all barriers.  Yet people keep putting up more barriers - based on race, class, economic status, religion, denomination within the religion - and probably within the denomination and within each congregation. The very antithesis of Jesus' message. It is a little disconcerting how, in a world containg innumerble Christians, we miss part of the very core of Jesus' reason for coming.

As we pondered this central message we turned to Jesus' geneology.  Ho-hum? NOT!  We often read how Jesus was descended from Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob as well as King David - making him the best kind of Jew. Another geneology has him descended from a line of priests as well.  Sounds pretty awesome.  But every family has its problems.  In the geneology from Matthew we see good kings but also some of the most evil kings their nation had known  We see upstanding, God fearing men, but also adulters, murderers, con men.  Even more interesting is the inclusion of women in the geniology - not all that common - and each of the  included women has a story that is less than savory.  Most are foreigners, many had been married before the union that brought about the birth of Jesus' ancestor - and all had "interesting" relationships.  Jesus's family was not perfect - by Jewish standards (with all those foreigners!) but even by most people's standards - with trickery and prostitution and deception and all kinds of evil behind the scenes.  Yet from this imperfection comes Jesus. We are not defined by our lineage.

If we broaden our outlook a little we see the political situation.  A king needed to tax his people. Not unusual.  But this king wanted to make sure he got from EVERY man - so needed to take a census - and God used this secular desire and power to make it so that prophecy was fulfilled.  Even though the purpose of the the census wasn't God-centred in any way shape or form - God used it.  And God used Herod - also not God centred.  Not only did Herod call for the census that brought Joseph & Mary to Bethlehem, he also directed the wisemen who brought expensive gifts and worshipped Jesus, and then, when the magi did not return, began the slaughter of many infant boys.  He actually seems quite devious and evil - but again - his making it unsafe for Jesus to be in Nazareth brought true the prophecy that the Messiah would be called out of Egypt.  So God can use horrible situations and still bring something good from them.  I'm sure Herod would have torn his hair out in frustration if he had known that he was going to help prove Jesus was the messiah by forcing his parents to move - to Bethlehem where he was born, to Egypt where they took refuge, and then finally, by his death, Herod made it possible for them to move home to Nazareth.  All these places mentioned in prophecy. God can bring about amazing things even when evil abounds.

To emphasize God's ability to use even evil powers to bring about good, we looked at Psalm 2 and saw God laughing at the nations who were conspiring against Him.  It talks about how God can turn their plots against themselves and/or to bring about good.  There is hope in the midst of the evil, the darkness, the horribleness of human depravity.

What else was happening back then?  John the Baptist was preaching - a Prophet calling from the wilderness for people to look to God.  Many mistook him for the Messiah.  He was noisier - more charismatic and unusual than anyone people had seen in a long time.  He heralded the coming of Christ - but wasn't sure he recognized Jesus as such.  He was close to God, living his life spreading the word of God - yet could not see God when Jesus appeared as God incarnate.  Understandable as he probably grew up with this younger second cousin - but still interesting. God used this dedicated, well meaning man, even though he was still somewhat blind to what he was doing. God uses imperfect people.

All these passages show that, even if we look back and say it was the perfect time - in many ways by our reckoning it was a very imperfect time.  If we look at geneology - Mary and Joseph may not have been the best choice to parent a blue blood prince.  If we look at the political situation - it was pretty dangerous.  If we look at the main jarbinger of Jesus' coming - even he was imperfect and unsure whether this was actually it.  In the midst of all this blundering imperfection, Jesus came, grew up, preached, lived, died and rose again- changing history forever..

God is not asking us for perfection.  God is not expecting us to always know the right thing.  God can use us even when we make mistakes.  The hard part is not getting God's forgiveness - it is there - but forgiving ourselves when we make mistakes, and taking the chance that we might make mistakes. It is hard putting ourselves out there in all our glorious imperfection.  Jesus came from an imperfect family, in an imperfect place (a barn?!), in a time when a ruthless, self centred king ruled. Where is the perfection in that?  In Jesus, himself. And Jesus, himself, has offered to help us through all the dangerous or otherwise difficult times.  To help us, if we are willing, make a difference in spite of our faulty, human selves.  I praise God for the timing that helps me see that perfection is, not only pretty much impossible in this world - but also highly overrated and unnecessary.  The perfect time for you or I to act may be now.  Go for it!  Take on the challenge God has for you.

November 19 - Looking to Advent

Today we turned our focus toward advent.  “ In the beginning was the Word”.  We saw how Jesus was around from the beginning and how the plan for him to come in human form is implied even in the Garden of Eden.  We looked at the above passage from the beginning of John, and also at Genesis, Isaiah, Micah and Malachi.  Prophecies can be found throughout the Bible, showing us the broader picture of Jesus’ coming, calling God’s people to be patient, trust and hope.  We recognized often quoted prophecies –Heard strains of the Messiah run through our heads at various point - but were interested to hear them in context.  Many of these words of hope were not given to a congregation awaiting God’s leading – but as part of a prophet’s advice or even admonitions to Kings or nations on how to deal with enemies – or on how they were messing up.   Some of the prophecies were a kind of double prophecy – having a fulfilment in that time as well as hundreds of years later.  It was never quite as simple or straightforward as it seems in many of our advent services.

 One interesting thing is that, when you see them in context, you can understand how people missed these messages.  We are used to hearing these passages in Advent & Christmas services where they seem so beautiful and so obviously pointing to the birth of Jesus, the Messiah, – but when the prophets  first spoke these words they were surrounded by admonitions and warnings.   Some were spoken to wayward or confused kings and leaders. Not all of them were understood to foretell the coming of the Messiah.  Some were just slipped into a whole bunch of other advice. In the midst of trying times, many of them while the threat of the Assyrian army loomed over Judah, glimmers of hope were injected.  It makes we wonder what we are missing now.  Are we open to God’s leading, God’s giving us words of hope in the midst of whatever decisions we are making? Is God trying to show us that “All things [will] work together for good” (Romans 8:28) Are we listening? 

Our discussion ranged from talk of how we would feel if one of our children became a prophet, to how we feel about our own futures.   We spoke of difficult times we had endured, and of concerns for friends currently experiencing health crises.  We spoke of partisan politics in our nation and that of our neighbor, and of decision making within our congregation.  It is so hard to do the right thing.  Whether it is selecting for whom to vote or for deciding whether to speak at a meeting and, if so, what to say or figuring out how to help when you really can’t make a big difference or supporting our kids – it is hard to know what to do.  How can we spread the love and nurture God has given us?  How can we best follow God’s will?  How can we best help our children learn to listen for God’s guidance and follow it?  I guess we came up with more questions than answers.

The one answer we have is prayer.  As we read of a coming miracle and talked of a seemingly miraculous healing and hoped for more help and healing we realized we have to give up our confusion, our worries, even our loved ones, to God.  In giving up and trusting we can experience God’s wonders.  We can relax and enjoy the blessings we are receiving, even while enduring the trials.  Like so many others, we have to wait for God to act – and trust that God WILL act, even if not in the time or the way we would prefer.  God will act. God is coming. We just have to wait, trust, and hope.

November 12 - Some rambly thoughts on busyness

Well it was a crazy week.  Today was kind of a holiday - some people had it off, others didn't - but it seemed almost everyone else was gone or busy so we cancelled our gathering today.

Last week was a bit of a test for me.  We had 7 different people staying in our home for varying lengths of time as we hosted a leadership assembly for our national church.  I usually like to leave many parts of the house hidden behind closed doors, but there wasn't that much extra space.  I usually don't feel very capable of serving food to others, as I'm sure they are used to better fare - but there were people who needed to be fed. We openned our home to people for supper on Monday, lunch on Tuesday  as well as breakfasts all week.  I even made a  meal to serve to whoever was left Saturday afternoon.   And all went well.

After spending the previous week (s) helping to arrange billeting for around 23 people, I cooked and baked food and washed and changed sheets and hosted people I didn't know and drove in blinding snow to bring people to the airport.  And it all went well.  Did I say the wrong thing?  probably.  Did I make mistakes?  Of course.  But I also got to get to know some amazing people.  Each one had something to share, each had thoughts that enlightened or challenged  or at least interested me.  I was sorry to see each one go - but knew I had to make room for the next ones.

Last week we had talked about being acceptable even when we didn't feel that way - so I hung onto that. We had talked about the joy of focussing your actions as a response to God and/or loved ones instead of obligations - and I actually felt pretty good all week. Then, when the dust cleared and they were all gone, I felt a let down.  I started to second guess incidents, comments, actions.  Why did I serve that tea? Should I have offered more food?  What did I say?  Did it come out wrong?  Why didn't I do that? Why did I do that - wrong? but again I am hanging on to the promise that I am acceptable (though far from perfect) even if I don't feel that way.

Busyness is tiring - but there is a sense of accomplishment.  Putting yourself , your home, your cooking, out there is risky - but if you give up the right to manage others' opinions of you it is much less so. There is a freedom in just doing what needs to be done without agonizing over how it is being perceived.  It was a good week - but I am glad I had done some reading before it, as remembering bits and pieces really has helped me through the aftermath of all that busyness.  Now I can focus on the blessing it was to meet and get to know so many great people. (and on cleaning up).

November 5 - Finishing Grace for the Good Girl

Today we gathered to talk about the last few chapters of the book.  There is so much in the last chapters of this book, it is hard to summarize or to do justice in a brief discussion but with Christmas coming ever nearer and schedules becoming crazy busy we decide to move on.  I would encourage anyone with access to the book to read the last two sections - they bring home what is truly important.

Today we talked about Mary and Abraham - and in this case, Abraham didn't come out looking so great!

When the angel told Mary she was about to become the mother of God's son, after only one logistical question (how?) she rejoiced.  She was told she was going to have a baby - ok we see the blessing in having a child - but she doesn't seem to hesitate. She doesn't seem overwhelmed by the responsibility or concerned with how it will look to the people around her - or even how her fiance who knows he's not the father will take it. Wouldn't it be great to be able to respond with such spontaneous joy! She did not get bogged down in all the problems that could come from this or the fact that Joseph could have her stoned!  This is how worship and service is supposed to be - spontaneous and full of joy.

Somehow the thought of making meals, or cleaning the house - especially scrubbing toilets - does not fill me with joy.  Somehow having to get up Sunday morning and get ready in time to go to church does not make me burst out in praiseful song.  And the idea of having to help out or donate - well many days I'd rather be lazy.  But if we change our way of thinking - if we receive the wonderful gift of God's love, acceptance and grace, remembering all God has done for us and is doing for us, and resting in God's promise that it will all work for the good in the end - we can rejoice - even while cleaning toilets!  Our service is not a duty or obligation. It is an opportunity! It is our response to the wonder of all God is and has done for us.

Abraham is a different story.  He started as Abram, a childless, yet faithful man.  He doesn't seem very strong as Sarai convinces him to try to have a child with her servant.  Then comes across even weaker when Sarai decides to punish the servant and Abram doesn't stop her or stand up for this poor woman who. not only was given no choice, but also was the mother of his child!  When Abram is told he will have a son by Sarai he doesn't believe it - thinks the angel got it wrong and is talking about the servant's child, Ishmael. So far its hard to believe this is one of the Bible's heroes! But he does change his name and that of his wife.  He does have a child with Sarah and he does call him Isaac. So he does come through in spite of his doubt,  and God does many great things through him and his offspring.

 I think we tend to be a little more like Abraham, a little doubtful, a little hesitant, maybe more tending toward looking for a logical rather than a miraculous solution.  God can use that too but I want to be more like Mary.  I want to believe what God is telling me.  I want to rejoice in the opportunities presented to me to serve and to worship.

One thing holding me back is my belief that I can't do it right.  I will mess it up.  I am not good enough.  I tend to revert to devaluing myself instead of accepting that I make mistakes, like most everyone else in this world, but still have value.  Emily Freeman tells a story of attending a gathering where everyone else seemed perfect - in good shape, perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect accessories, perfect home - and even perfectly nice and welcoming.  The feelings of inadequacy this brought out made her want to just sit in a corner and hide, hoping people wouldn't notice the extra 5 pounds she had gained, or the imperfect outfit or..... but then she mentions four questions to ask (p 214 & 215) - and these seem to be significant for most of us.

1) What is the truth - ignore your perception, your feelings - what is the truth? -  Though you feel unacceptable, God has accepted you as you are and has made you acceptable.  God loves you as you are and you are loveable.

2) What do you choose to believe?  Choose to believe God, to believe in God's promises.  Choose to believe that you are acceptable even if you don't feel that way.  This is one I struggle with but am really working on.  I keep making mistakes and feel inferior to everyone else who seems to have everything under control - but I am choosing to believe God has made me acceptable and loveable and that God can use me even in my fallibility.

3)What do you choose to do?  I am choosing to depend on God, to trust that God has made me acceptable and to act as if I am acceptable, rather than cower at home in bed or on the couch to ensure I don't make any more public mistakes.  I am choosing to act as if I have a value to share with others, and not as if I am an intrusion in their lives or activities. I am choosing to act in spite of my feelings not on the basis of them.

4) Will you give up the right to feel as if God's truth is true?  This is a tough one - but if I truly choose to act acceptable I have to give up the right to feel that way.  I have to trust.  I also have to give up the right to fit in - or to feel like I fit in.  "I choose to release the right to manage others' opinions of me and rest in the sufficiency of the life of Christ." (p215).

Wow.  This is tough.  But it is also freeing. If I can learn to trust, to depend on Christ and in God's love and acceptance - I am free to respond spontaneously and joyously when God calls me.  I can go to my brothers and sisters, secure in the knowledge, even if not the feeling, that I am of value and acceptable.  I can be open to hearing them because I don't have to listen to my insecurities yelling at me to hide.  I can make it through tough times because I don't bear responsibility to feel capable - just to hang on because God has promised to help me through. I can keep doing things - because God has promised to use even my failures for the good.  I am free to be the person God wants me to be, because I don't have to feel able to be.

And I guess that's kinda where the Grace lies - in the freedom to listen to God's call and focus on living my life as a response to all God's goodness and grace - even if I'm not such a good girl.

October 29 - Time Out for Coffee

Due to various commitments, only three of us could gather today, so we decided to meet at a coffee shop more centrally located between our homes.

There is a real blessing in having time to just sit and chat - and to learn from one another. There are many things we don't have in common - but we were all moms so naturally the conversation turned to our children and the choices they have in front of them as well as the choices they've made.  Those of us with grown and scattered children could share with the one whose child was still and home making decisions for his future.

Parenting, decision making, missing our kids - all parts of life.  It is interesting to ponder God's presence in the different stages of life.  Whether it be giving you strength to keep going when you are severely sleep deprived, helping you continue giving to your child when you just want to escape for a few minutes, or allowing you to let go and sleep, even though your children are across the country, or across the world  - God is with them, and with us.

Oh the decision making. French Immersion, International Baccalaureate, Advanced Placement, Drama, Art,  - all these decisions loom large when entering high school - and can affect parts of your life later on. But we whether or not we are sure of the decision that has been made, the time comes (for most people) when you have to go to high school and live with it. And then more decisions - work, college, university - if college or university which college or university, which faculty, which courses - and so on. We are constantly making decisions which lead to other decisions - all of which have consequences. Life is kinda like that - we have to move on from where we are at. .  God can use where we are at.   We need to accept that some of our decisions are better than others, but that doesn't change how God feels about us.  We need to rest in the assurance that God has given us what we need to make the best decision possible at that moment, and that, even if we mess up the decision, God can still help us through and even bring good from the outcome. 

No we didn't come up with profound truths about life or Christianity or anything else - but we talked and shared where we, and our kids, were at.  And there is a beauty and a value in that. Where two or three are gathered, God has promised to be there too - even if it is just gathering for coffee.

October 22 - Chapters 11 & 12, Receive & Remain

While the first 10 chapters of this book dealt with the masks and the hiding we do, the next four deal with being found.  We talked about learning to receive God's love and grace. About how, like Dorothy in Oz, we already have what we need to achieve a happy life - but we have to believe it and we have to let go of trying to do things on our own.  We talked about remaining in the shelter of God's loving care - about how words, songs, prayers become a part of us so, even when life is hectic and we don't have time for quiet meditation we have God's word within us to help us keep going.

The session went a little sideways as we started to discuss two of the topics the Junior High School Sunday School Class is talking about  - Suicide and Bullying.  With the death of a young teenage girl these topics have become quite central in the media and in the minds of many people right now.  But what do these have to do with Letting the Peace of Christ rule within our hearts? With Letting the Word of Christ dwell richly within us?  Actually, more than we realized.

While I have no credentials to back up my opinion, I believe the main cause of suicide is hopelessness. When I can't see any way that things will get better. When I have no control. When I don't feel worthwhile. When I have no hope, I want a way out.  But Christ is our hope, our way, if not out, then through difficult times.. If we can truly learn to let the Peace of Christ rule in our hearts and let the word(s) of Christ dwell richly within us - we can do all things (Phillipians 4:13) even survive incredibly difficult, seemingly unendurable times.

Letting peace rule our hearts is not so easy.  We like to be in control.  We like to at least look like we are in control. When someone is pestering, demeaning or in any way hurting us, we lose that appearance.  We look less in the eyes of those around us. We look for things we can DO to fix the problem.  We desparately need to change things.  We are not at peace. But if peace rules, is the final arbitor of who we see ourselves to be as well as how we act, then we have to be willing to give up the appearance of control.  We have to give up looking at the situation through the world's eyes. We need to look to God, to Christ who strengthens us. We need to look to promises we find in the Bible.  We need to remember that we are of great value to God. That Christ came so we could receive salvation. That God has promised to be with us even in our darkest hour.  We need to rest in those promises and count on God, through Christ and the Holy Spirit, to help us through and give us strength to endure humiliation, pain, misery.

This sounds kinda trite coming  from someone my age, in my comfortable, middle class life. But these are lessons we have heard from people suffering under many of the worst bullies in history. The Isaelites in Egypt were forced to work under unbearable conditions for generations - then followed a leader sent by their God to a new life in a new land.  Paul, who was a bully (persecutor), stoning as many of those upstart Christians as he could, changed and became one of the persecuted. So he knew bullying from both sides. He talks about being accepted and being persecuted and being ok with both because his focus was on Christ.  The Martyr's mirror tells story after story of anabaptists who managed to live their lives fully, following their beliefs through hardship and even to death, but finding the life they had in Christ worth the pain. There are stories of slaves who survived torture, persecution, even mutilation and still managed to stand tall, to come through somehow, looking for a better life. Jews and people who helped them were totally stripped of their human rights in Nazi Germany and yet held their faith and are still around today. Ghandi became a hero for helping the bullied lower castes of India while staying true to his beliefs. These were not all Christians, but they counted on their God to help them through situations way worse than any we endure.

Bullying always seems to be around. It seems a  part of the human condition. There always seems to be someone out there that needs to prove something, to make make him /her/their self look more powerful by demeaning someone else.  Yet the persecuted often triumph in the end.

Christ is our hope. The peace God gives us is supposed to rule in our hearts, to act as the final arbitor of what we think and do.  On page 133 Ms. Freeman states "God offers his peace to act as my umpire, to release me from having to be the authority and keep it together. But I have to let peace be peaceful within me". Can we let peace rule?  When all the voices around us say DO more, BE more, put on the masks so at least you LOOK like more, where is the peace? When we have to do the dishes, wash the clothes, mow the lawn/shovel the snow, transport kids, prepare the meals, work full or part time, volunteer, be a listening ear, help out at school and church and in the community and do it all with a smile, seemingly without effort - how do we find time to let the word of Christ dwell richly within us?  I don't have a complete answer - but I think IF we can, it can feed us and strengthen us so we can face down our bullies, so we can find some hope in the bleakest situations, then we truly CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

Let us install in ourselves and in our children the truth that we are of value, that God cares, and that we can make it through, not in our own strength, but through Christ who dwells in us.  We don;t have to keep it all together - God already has it all together. We are not alone. When bullies strike, when everything is falling apart, when we lose everything - when life seems just too difficult to live, we can turn to God and know we are not alone, that there is hope, there is love, and  there is a life worth living.

So hang in there. Take time when you can to make God's word a part of your life. Read, sing, listen, memorize.  And when life gets crazy (or crazier!) draw on the words inside you.  Draw on the strength God will give  you.  And keep on going.  Receive God's love, God's word, God's peace, and remain in the shelter of God's loving arms.

October 15 - End of "The Hiding" and the introduction to "The Finding"

This week we looked at the Genesis story of creation and the fall.  It was interesting to see the slightly different perspective Emily Freeman has in this book.  While Voskamp looked at the ingratitude of Eve's actions, Freeman focuses on the separation and shame that  talking to the serpent brought into Adam & Eve's relationship with God.  Prior to this Adam and Eve had everything - they were created in the image of God and spent their lives in communion with creation and Creator. They ate the fruit and suddenly they became aware of how inferior they were to God's perfection. They realized they really weren't good enough to be so close to God. They realized they had messed up.  Guilt arose. Then shame set in.  So did hiding. Since then we have been striving to deal with our imperfection.  Sometimes we try to cover it up by putting on a good show of being "fine", or responsible, or pious: of being "good". Sometimes we try to avoid letting it show by remaining in our comfort zones or not letting others close enough to see all our faults, or we try to distract from our imperfections by trying to be indispensible and taking on tasks/responsibilities we may or may not be able to handle. There are many ways we hide from our selves, from those around us, and from God.

We sometimes forget that we are born, or created, in the image of God.  We don't have to eat from a special tree or follow certain rituals or do all the right things in order to be like God, anymore than twins have to dress and act the same in order to be twins.  "Birth determines identity" and we are born in God's image. We don't have to be good enough.  We can't be good enough.  God has provided us, not only with forgiveness for all the times we mess up, but also with grace so we can continue living freely, without fear, without hiding, without trying so hard. Just as God not only forgave Adam and Eve but also clothed them, so God offers us all we need and much much more than we deserve to live fully and happily.

I found it interesting how the author distinguishes between guilt and shame.  She says guilt admits we've done wrong and runs to God for protection and forgiveness.  Shame says we are wrong, worthless, unworthy and forces us to hide, even from God's loving kindness.  Guilt shows us the error of our ways and helps us see our need for forgiveness and help. Shame claws at our image of ourselves and diminishes it until we feel too small, too unworthy to even ask for forgiveness. I am hoping the author will give us more insight on how to fight shame and rest in the loving protection and mercy God is offering.

In the introduction to the next section of the book we read of the author's feeling "overwhelmed, overcome & undone" when she realized how many masks she was wearing and how much she depended on them.  When she confessed to a counselor that she didn't know how not to be this way - he said "You're not this way.  This may be how you cope, but this is not who you are." (p125)  How do we separate out who we are from what we do?  How do we claim our "God-like-ness"? How do we cope if we dare to take off our masks?  How do we stop depending so much on ourselves and lean on God?

As I looked around the room this afternoon I saw amazing women.Women who had undergone all kinds of physical and emotional hardship and yet remain so strong and capable and giving. Each one had suffered something I could not fathom, and seemed to have come through it. And I felt small. And I guess I asked myself - am I the only one who wears masks?  Who tries to look like a better person than I believe myself to be? Who relates to the author's stories of various masks?  I guess I cannot answer that and I don't have to.  God does not expect me to be as strong and as good and as capable and as resilient as someone else.  God wants me to be the best me I can be while trusting and depending wholly on the strength given to me by God's presence and spirit within me. My focus is supposed to be heavenward - not on all that others can do and be.  This is a lesson I know I need to learn.  I would challenge each of us to be honest at least with ourselves and recognize that we need the strength and mercy God offers and that we really can't do it all on our own.  It is so hard to separate out what I am doing as a loving response to God and what I am doing to try to seem better, to try to be better, than I think I am.

As we head into the next section of the book I challenge each of us to prepare to be found. I hope we will find truths that will help us in whatever way each of us requires. I hope we will find insights that will help improve our relationships with God and our lives in some way.

***

As I was driving yesterday I listened to a song by a group called Casting Crowns.  I've shared it before but thought I'd share it again in light of all our talk of masks and how they affect each of us and the church. You can hear it on YouTube if you are interested (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzKOrlPuWzo).  The lyrics are below.

Stained Glass Masquerade lyrics
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/casting-crowns-lyrics/stained-glass-masquerade-lyrics.html -]

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Chorus:
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Chorus (x2)

But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Happy Thanksgiving

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

While we did not meet today – I thought I would still jot down a few thoughts. 

The first is that I am very thankful for each of the women that comes to our study each week.  Every one brings the special gifts that God has given her, the uniqueness that makes her who she is, and shares some of herself with us.   Thank you!  I draw from your strength and insights, your faith and your experience – Thank you for being a part of our group.

Secondly I thought I would take a detour from the book we are studying now to touch on the book I read shortly before we began our study.  The book is called One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Anne Voskamp. (I don’t have the publisher’s information handy right now).  It is a book I would recommend for it reminds us to be thankful always – for the big things like the peaceful country we live in and the health of our families – but also for the small things – like the rainbows in the soap bubbles when we wash dishes, or the perfection of a flower growing voluntarily where one would least expect it.  In the first chapter she talks about the initial sin being the sin of ingratitude.   While God had given Adam and Eve everything they needed and so much more, the serpent helped them focus on the one thing they didn’t have – the right to eat from two trees whose fruit was forbidden.  So instead of continuing to rejoice in the abundant goodness of all God had supplied, Adam and Eve chose to eat from the tree the serpent advocated.   Voskamp says: “Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren’t satisfied in God and what He gives.  We hunger for something more, something other.” God plans for us to be whole, to be brought “to our full glory” (I Corinthians 2:7 NEB) but we are so busy looking at what we don’t have we don’t see all that we do and therefore find it impossible to be content and grow to our full potential.

So I challenge us this Thanksgiving: Let us look at the wonderful blessings we have so undeservedly received and be thankful for them. Let us shift our focus from the things we think we want but do not have to the marvelous abundance of what we do have. Let’s not try to think how we would change the ending of sad or difficult stories if we had a chance, but trust God, the author of our story, that things will all work out for the good somehow.  And Let us be thankful for all we have.

In our Church’s Thanksgiving service yesterday, the worship leader shared something her mother used to say – I don’t have it word for word but it was something like: “Seeds of discontent cannot grow in a thankful heart”. Let us fill our hearts with gratitude and thanksgiving. Let us look for things to be thankful for instead of for things to wish for.  Let us be thankful most of all that we don’t have to write our stories or those of the people we love, but that we get to live our stories, our lives knowing that, however things feel at the moment, God, who knows all and sees all will bring some good out of even the worst tragedies, will help us through day to day life and, often, will surprise us with goodness we didn’t even know to expect. 

God is Good! Let us give thanks!

October 1 - ch 7-9

Today we looked at the story of the Prodigal son, his father and his brother - mostly his brother.

Often we focus on the younger son and how his loving father welcomes him home in spite of the insult and irresponsibility of the son's earlier actions.  But what about the older son?  He was the responsible guy, the one who stayed home and helped his father, maybe even ran the farm for him.  He was the Biblical male version of the "good girl".  He did everything right - and probably felt pretty good about it - pretty virtuous even - until his reckless, irresponsible brother came home and got welcomed like royalty. This was too much!  It wasn't fair!  The father came out to talk to him, to invite him into the party.  But the older brother was hurt and furious and refused to be a part of a celebration for that brat that broke his father's heart, spent all his money, and did absolutely nothing to help around home.

As we talked we realised that we, like the author, tend to identify with the older son.  We try hard.  We are responsible - maybe even too much so sometimes.  Sometimes we feel we need to apologise for things beyond our control, like others' actions, like loved one's moods, even like the performance of our favourite sports team. Sometimes we feel we need to take on tasks  - either because "there's no one else" or because it helps us feel like we belong. We take on more than we can ever handle - then are almost disappointed when, instead of appreciating what we have done, people find other ways to get the job done when we can't.

We also tend to "stay at home" - remain in our comfort zone - helping take care of the food, clothing, transportation etc. that come with being part of the family.  We take on the same kind of volunteer positions - choosing to take on things we know we can handle because we've done it before.  Jesus pushed people out of their comfort zone.  Maybe not always but often.  And often they were blessed by it.  Like the woman who had been hemorrhaging, who tried to hide in the crowd and just sneak a touch of Jesus' robe - knowing she wasn't worth his attention.  Jesus waited until she came forward and confessed what she had done - and he blessed her. What blessings/opportunities are we missing because we want to remain hiding in our comfort zone even while Jesus is calling us forward.

We can also be a bit self-righteous and/or judgemental when someone else gets a reward they don't seem to deserve.  Like the older brother we feel we, or at least other good people, should be rewarded for all the good we/they do before someone who does a lot less.  Why can't life be more fair? People who devote their lives to God should be rewarded more than those who mess up their whole lives and then make a commitment on their death beds and die in peace.  Why should they get the same reward? It doesn't seem fair!

Then we talked about it some more. Realizing that we all have times that we mess up, maybe we should also recognize the part of each of us that is like the prodigal son.  We don't deserve God's love and grace any more than anyone else.  We all mess up and haven't earned God's love.  God just gives it. If we, like the older brother, refuse to go into the party because there are people there we feel haven't worked as hard as we have - aren't we just hurting ourselves?

If we talk about the  unfairness of the prodigal son's experience, or that of people who rebel terribly before becoming Christians, aren't we saying that messing up - squandering your inheritance, rebelling, partying, and generally living for oneself - is more desirable than our lives?  Isn't saying it is unfair saying they have something we are missing?  Yet really - isn't it true that we have something they don't have?  Isn't our relationship with God something that helps and sustains us? that gives us joy and peace?  If we are somehow finding that we are envying those who don't have that relationship, maybe our relationship isn't what it should be.  Maybe we are focussing too much on being the "good girl" and not enough on God's blessings and all the wonderful things that come from being a child of God and a member of a church community.  So maybe it isn't fair - we get to spend our whole lives in relationship with God while they don't.  We get to have a community and an all powerful God to bless and help us - they only get to party and look for new thrills and fun without any real direction or meaning.  So we are the lucky ones - the ones who get way more than we deserve.

God, like the parable's father, shares everything with us our whole life!  So we don't have to be responsible for everything - God can work through whatever we do.  We don't have to stay safely in our comfort zone - we have someone who will take care of us wherever we are. And we definitely don't have to feel cheated when people rebel and then come back to God and/or the church, we get to spend more time experiencing God's presence and God's blessing - we get the best deal around.

September 24

The Story of Mary and Martha was central to this week's input.  Found in Luke 10:38-42, it tells the story of Jesus coming to visit Mary & Martha.  One of the difficult parts of the story is that Mary is the one Jesus holds up as doing the better thing, while Martha is the sister with whom we can identify more easily.

When Jesus comes to her village Martha opens her home to Jesus. I think this is pretty impressive.  I know many people who have homes where guest speakers or other distinguished guests are welcomed.  I tend to be afraid that my offering/ my home wouldn't be good enough.  Martha is polite and welcoming - the perfect hostess - at first.

When we meet someone and they ask how we are the automatic responce is "fine" or something like that.  And there are occasions when that is the appropriate response - complete strangers don't know you well enough to care that you are having what one harried dad called a three dwarf morning (he said they were all sleepy, grumpy and dopey) and sometimes it is just part of a standard greeting. But what about with people with whom we have a relationship?  What about people with whom we are having a real conversation - not just the polite greetings?  Can we drop the "fine" and let them know somewhere along the line that we are struggling with something?  Can we let on that we could use some prayer and support - or do we continue to hide behind the polite fine?  Do we think we don't deserve the support because we're really not that badly off? I think we sometimes give ourselves a lot of unnecessary grief and loneliness because we don't want to admit we need someone else to listen, to care.  Sometimes we need to take off the mask of "fine" and allow another person to see our vulnerability and we need to let them help - even if it is just a hug or a listening ear.

And here we can return to Martha.  While she seemed quite happy to have Jesus (and probably a whole lot of other people) in her home - she wanted some help  This seems fair and good.  And she did take off the mask of "fine" and ask.  So I think she is pretty awesome.  The problem is that Jesus basically told her to relax and listen and not to worry about all the hosting things.  This is problematic for a room full of Moms who often have to keep kids' and husband's schedules in mind while tending to housework and volunteer work etc - to a room full of women who often miss at least part of a worship service preparing for potlucks or other after church events.  It is hard to hear Martha chastised.  But I think maybe we get caught up in the "should's".  Is it really so critical that the meal is ready as soon as people come out of the worship service?  Wouldn't there be more help available if we waited?  Maybe if Martha had been able to put aside the rules of good hostessing, Jesus would have provided another miracle and fed everyone anyway.  Maybe the others were so caught up in what Jesus said they didn't really need to eat.  Maybe this was an occasion that good hostessing didn't have to follow the rules.  We will never know.  What we do know is Martha worked hard and then, when she asked for help from her sister, was told her sister was doing the better thing by sitting and listening.  GRRRRRRRRRR! That doesn't sit well - but maybe it is  something for us to keep in mind when we stress over doing enough of the right thing.  Sometimes maybe we have to let go a bit.

The last section of this session focusses on the rules and how some of us strive so hard to follow them. We put untold pressure on ourselves and others as we work to dot every i and cross every t.  And a corollary to that is that some people feel very free to critisize others who don't follow the rules the way we see them (like making the "wrong" kind of tea or the "wrong" strength of coffee). We will get more volunteers if we allow people to do things the way it makes sense to them, and if we allow them to make mistakes without being raked over the coals.  On a more theological level, the "rules" or 10 commandments were given more as a way for us to see that we need help than as an expectation that we could follow them perfectly.  Jesus emphasizes that as well.  We can't be perfect - but God loves us anyway.  Can we accept that?  Can we extend that love and grace to others? 

Like Martha, we need to learn to come out from behind the fake "fine" and allow others to be there for us. We need to learn that it doesn't all depend on us all the time, We need to learn that we can't perfectly follow the rules but God loves us anyway - and would prefer we come for help rather than turn away because of expectations.

September 10

On September 10 we opened with some talk about masks and masquerades.  Remember how much fun it was as a kid to dress up and put on that cheap plastic Halloween mask.  We thought we were BEAUTIFUL!  Greek actors used to hold masks in front of their faces (I think) so you could tell what kind of character they were playing - and weren't distracted by their actual appearance.  Well it seems that sometimes we put on masks as well, trying to look beautiful, and efficient, and capable, and strong.  Sometimes we wear them for so long they become a part of who we see ourselves to be. Sometimes it can be quite traumatic if they are ripped from our faces.  Yet there is something refreshing about taking off the mask.  Remember how uncomfortable the real ones were as kids?  They were hot and made both seeing and breathing difficult -  It was fun to wear them but felt good to take them off, too.

Different people have different masks, and some of us couldn't relate to some of the masks mentioned in the book - but I think some of us did/do.  The first chapter talks of wanting to be and do it all perfectly and the difficulty when our image of who we should be doesn't quite match who we know we are. We find ways to hide our "failings" - we avoid situations our weaknesses may show and work like crazy to come across a proficient in the situations we are in.  We want to please our families and those around us and silence the part of us who is suggesting we are not really quite good enough.We work so hard we sometimes forget that God created us as we are and has promised to be with us and help us.  We seem to feel we need to do it right and do it by ourselves.

 No one wants to fail.  The second chapter went more into "Chasing Expectations". We want to be good at what we do - which isn't a bad thing - except if we mean that we cannot make mistakes without seeing ourselves as diminished somehow - worth less than others we see as perfect - a failure. If we limit our efforts to things we are confident we can succeed at, we may miss out on finding other lifegiving things to do.  If we always present the picture of a perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect church member - how can others who don't see themselves as so perfect feel free to come and ask for or offer help? Where is the room for God to work miracles in us if we are determined to do only that which is comfortable and to do it on our own?

The third chapter spoke of something I could really relate to - the lack of an exciting conversion story.  I don't know about you but as a teenager I thought it was so cool to hear about people who had led these horrible, scary to me, lives of sin and debauchery and then turned to Christ and became these amazing, on fire Christians.  I wanted that fire - that enthusiasm that would allow me to admit the horrible things I had done because I now knew I was saved.  But that wasn't my story. I hadn't done horrible things. I was the good girl (well - with a few glitches since I do have a mischievous streak and a stubborn streak and put together that did get me in trouble on occasion - but I don't think I was bad) and grew up within the church and in a good family. No chance for a huge conversion there. I actually considered trying to be bad, or raising my future kids outside the church, so that I or they could have that kind of conversion experience.  But I figured it didn't work once you already were a Christian - and didn't want to take the chance they wouldn't have the conversion experience. Besides I didn't know how to live and raise kids without the church family.   I think the point is that you need to be true to where you are and who you are.  Sometimes you feel closer to God than others.  Sometimes you are more enthusiastic than others.  And sometimes we just need to pray that we can be and feel OK about who we are and not try to hide our insecurities behind a good reputation.

These first few chapters were trying to introduce us to the idea that we are working really hard at being good, at wearing the happy, efficient mask of a good Christian woman and some of the dangers of that.  As I said, we couldn't all identify, but I think those of us that can got some food for thought about where we are at.

Getting Started

This is my attempt to teach an old dog new tricks.  They say blogging is easy and they say it helps people stay in touch - so here goes.

I am hoping to find time each week to update this site with some of what we talked about - no not the private stuff we sometimes talk about but some general topics and my take on them - not always the actual discussion from our get togethers.  If you'd like to add your comments I'm pretty sure you can.

Anyway - We are starting the year looking at Grace for the Good Girl: letting go of the try-hard life written by Emily P. Freeman and published by Revell.  The book has a guide included which covers the book in about 8 weeks - about 3 chapters per week - so here goes......