The Story of Mary and Martha was central to this week's input. Found in Luke 10:38-42, it tells the story of Jesus coming to visit Mary & Martha. One of the difficult parts of the story is that Mary is the one Jesus holds up as doing the better thing, while Martha is the sister with whom we can identify more easily.
When Jesus comes to her village Martha opens her home to Jesus. I think this is pretty impressive. I know many people who have homes where guest speakers or other distinguished guests are welcomed. I tend to be afraid that my offering/ my home wouldn't be good enough. Martha is polite and welcoming - the perfect hostess - at first.
When we meet someone and they ask how we are the automatic responce is "fine" or something like that. And there are occasions when that is the appropriate response - complete strangers don't know you well enough to care that you are having what one harried dad called a three dwarf morning (he said they were all sleepy, grumpy and dopey) and sometimes it is just part of a standard greeting. But what about with people with whom we have a relationship? What about people with whom we are having a real conversation - not just the polite greetings? Can we drop the "fine" and let them know somewhere along the line that we are struggling with something? Can we let on that we could use some prayer and support - or do we continue to hide behind the polite fine? Do we think we don't deserve the support because we're really not that badly off? I think we sometimes give ourselves a lot of unnecessary grief and loneliness because we don't want to admit we need someone else to listen, to care. Sometimes we need to take off the mask of "fine" and allow another person to see our vulnerability and we need to let them help - even if it is just a hug or a listening ear.
And here we can return to Martha. While she seemed quite happy to have Jesus (and probably a whole lot of other people) in her home - she wanted some help This seems fair and good. And she did take off the mask of "fine" and ask. So I think she is pretty awesome. The problem is that Jesus basically told her to relax and listen and not to worry about all the hosting things. This is problematic for a room full of Moms who often have to keep kids' and husband's schedules in mind while tending to housework and volunteer work etc - to a room full of women who often miss at least part of a worship service preparing for potlucks or other after church events. It is hard to hear Martha chastised. But I think maybe we get caught up in the "should's". Is it really so critical that the meal is ready as soon as people come out of the worship service? Wouldn't there be more help available if we waited? Maybe if Martha had been able to put aside the rules of good hostessing, Jesus would have provided another miracle and fed everyone anyway. Maybe the others were so caught up in what Jesus said they didn't really need to eat. Maybe this was an occasion that good hostessing didn't have to follow the rules. We will never know. What we do know is Martha worked hard and then, when she asked for help from her sister, was told her sister was doing the better thing by sitting and listening. GRRRRRRRRRR! That doesn't sit well - but maybe it is something for us to keep in mind when we stress over doing enough of the right thing. Sometimes maybe we have to let go a bit.
The last section of this session focusses on the rules and how some of us strive so hard to follow them. We put untold pressure on ourselves and others as we work to dot every i and cross every t. And a corollary to that is that some people feel very free to critisize others who don't follow the rules the way we see them (like making the "wrong" kind of tea or the "wrong" strength of coffee). We will get more volunteers if we allow people to do things the way it makes sense to them, and if we allow them to make mistakes without being raked over the coals. On a more theological level, the "rules" or 10 commandments were given more as a way for us to see that we need help than as an expectation that we could follow them perfectly. Jesus emphasizes that as well. We can't be perfect - but God loves us anyway. Can we accept that? Can we extend that love and grace to others?
Like Martha, we need to learn to come out from behind the fake "fine" and allow others to be there for us. We need to learn that it doesn't all depend on us all the time, We need to learn that we can't perfectly follow the rules but God loves us anyway - and would prefer we come for help rather than turn away because of expectations.
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