Today we looked at the story of the Prodigal son, his father and his brother - mostly his brother.
Often we focus on the younger son and how his loving father welcomes him home in spite of the insult and irresponsibility of the son's earlier actions. But what about the older son? He was the responsible guy, the one who stayed home and helped his father, maybe even ran the farm for him. He was the Biblical male version of the "good girl". He did everything right - and probably felt pretty good about it - pretty virtuous even - until his reckless, irresponsible brother came home and got welcomed like royalty. This was too much! It wasn't fair! The father came out to talk to him, to invite him into the party. But the older brother was hurt and furious and refused to be a part of a celebration for that brat that broke his father's heart, spent all his money, and did absolutely nothing to help around home.
As we talked we realised that we, like the author, tend to identify with the older son. We try hard. We are responsible - maybe even too much so sometimes. Sometimes we feel we need to apologise for things beyond our control, like others' actions, like loved one's moods, even like the performance of our favourite sports team. Sometimes we feel we need to take on tasks - either because "there's no one else" or because it helps us feel like we belong. We take on more than we can ever handle - then are almost disappointed when, instead of appreciating what we have done, people find other ways to get the job done when we can't.
We also tend to "stay at home" - remain in our comfort zone - helping take care of the food, clothing, transportation etc. that come with being part of the family. We take on the same kind of volunteer positions - choosing to take on things we know we can handle because we've done it before. Jesus pushed people out of their comfort zone. Maybe not always but often. And often they were blessed by it. Like the woman who had been hemorrhaging, who tried to hide in the crowd and just sneak a touch of Jesus' robe - knowing she wasn't worth his attention. Jesus waited until she came forward and confessed what she had done - and he blessed her. What blessings/opportunities are we missing because we want to remain hiding in our comfort zone even while Jesus is calling us forward.
We can also be a bit self-righteous and/or judgemental when someone else gets a reward they don't seem to deserve. Like the older brother we feel we, or at least other good people, should be rewarded for all the good we/they do before someone who does a lot less. Why can't life be more fair? People who devote their lives to God should be rewarded more than those who mess up their whole lives and then make a commitment on their death beds and die in peace. Why should they get the same reward? It doesn't seem fair!
Then we talked about it some more. Realizing that we all have times that we mess up, maybe we should also recognize the part of each of us that is like the prodigal son. We don't deserve God's love and grace any more than anyone else. We all mess up and haven't earned God's love. God just gives it. If we, like the older brother, refuse to go into the party because there are people there we feel haven't worked as hard as we have - aren't we just hurting ourselves?
If we talk about the unfairness of the prodigal son's experience, or that of people who rebel terribly before becoming Christians, aren't we saying that messing up - squandering your inheritance, rebelling, partying, and generally living for oneself - is more desirable than our lives? Isn't saying it is unfair saying they have something we are missing? Yet really - isn't it true that we have something they don't have? Isn't our relationship with God something that helps and sustains us? that gives us joy and peace? If we are somehow finding that we are envying those who don't have that relationship, maybe our relationship isn't what it should be. Maybe we are focussing too much on being the "good girl" and not enough on God's blessings and all the wonderful things that come from being a child of God and a member of a church community. So maybe it isn't fair - we get to spend our whole lives in relationship with God while they don't. We get to have a community and an all powerful God to bless and help us - they only get to party and look for new thrills and fun without any real direction or meaning. So we are the lucky ones - the ones who get way more than we deserve.
God, like the parable's father, shares everything with us our whole life! So we don't have to be responsible for everything - God can work through whatever we do. We don't have to stay safely in our comfort zone - we have someone who will take care of us wherever we are. And we definitely don't have to feel cheated when people rebel and then come back to God and/or the church, we get to spend more time experiencing God's presence and God's blessing - we get the best deal around.
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