Jezebel is a name that has become the epitome of evil, backstabbing women. Here is a woman we can all agree is known as a bad girl of the Bible. If you look at things from her side, however, she was totally justified in all her actions. There was no evil intent (as such). She was a strong, determined woman who knew what she believed and enforced it.
Jezebel was a royal princess from a line of totalatarian monarchs. She had no understanding other than that kings(and queens) had the right to whatever they wanted. Ahab wanted the land so he should have it. This means that, to her, Naboth was in the wrong to try to deny the king the vineyard Ahab wanted. She did bow a little to the culture in which she was living to make it seem that Naboth's death was due to his own lawbreaking, but the result was what, in her mind, it should have been all along. Naboth was just collateral damage. Monarchs have that right.
According to the Interpreter's Dictionary of the Bible, Jezebel was also a priest of Baal and Astarte. Even her name is a feminine version of the name Baal - honoring the god she served. So for her to try to change her adopted country to her religion was a given. She does not recognize the Israelite religion as valid - or even complete as there was no female counterpart to this Yahweh they claimed to worship. So clearing the way for the priests of the true gods, Baal and Asherah/Astarte was a necesary task. If this meant killing off all the priests of the Israelite God, so be it. She needed to have her gods served! Her missionary zeal was amazing. Put together with the power of the monarchy, she seemed unstoppable.
It is interesting to see Jezebel and Elijah compared. Both had names declaring themselves as servants of their God. Both were, according to Barbara J. Essex, "active, fanatical, violent, stubborn - and all in the name of their deities." Yet the difference is who it was they served and how they are perceived in this modern age.
Throughout history missionaries have gone in and ignored existing cultural values to impress their own. We have repented some of these, others we have not yet recognized. This story does tell us of the aweful things that Jezebel did - but she did them to serve her gods. Does that make them right? I don't think so. Neither do our good intentions excuse us. Jezebel ended with a terrible, gruesome death - no royal lying in state with respect being paid - but with being trampled and scavenged til there was almost nothing left of her.
If there is one thing I take from the study of this story, it is that we need to be sensitive to those around us, especially those over whom we hold some power. It is too easy to push our thoughts, opinions and values on others, when theirs may be just as, or in Israel's case more, valid than our own. I don't think this means we don't argue for or express our views, but it does mean we need to listen and recognize the other person as a thinking, feeling creation of God, just as we are. We also need to remember that God is so much bigger than any of us - and so it is possible that within God's vastness we are both partially right. Yes, I have gone past the Jezebel story, but it is an extension of the realization that just doing what we think is right for what we think are the right reasons does not make it right. I hope and pray for God's guidance so that the words we speak, the meditations of our hearts as well as our actions may be acceptable in God's sight.
Saturday, 23 February 2013
Feb 18 - Family Day
We did not meet due to the holiday - but i thought I'd throw in a few random thoughts from my week.
My husband and I were in Florida Feb 10 - 17. We enjoyed the sun and some of the entertainment available in the Orlando area. While having dinner with some of the other people there representing AMBS, one woman told of her first trip to the"Magic Kingdom". She had felt somewhat guilty spending time and money on such a "worldly" pursuit - but had decided it was an experience she didn't want her kids to miss. While on the trip she had two "aha" moments. I have to admit I have forgotten one, but the other has stuck with me. She spoke of being struck by how the staff ("cast members") in Disneyworld are so friendly and cheerful and how that really infects the whole spirit of your visit there. You even find people smiling as they walk miles between rides or stand in line, and people generally being patient in lines, even letting others go ahead in line on occasion, and being very forgiving of mistakes etc. You don't see that so much in grocery stores. She asked what would happen if that was the impression people had of the church? If a secular organization can have that positive effect on people there for purely recreational purposes, shouldn't we be able to influence people seeking the comfort and joy of relationship with God? Shouldn't we be "The happiest place on earth"?
I've also been reading Bruxy Cavey's book The End of Religion. I haven't gotten too far as I ended up not reading as much as I thought I would on holidays - but the premise is quite fascinating: that God never intended for there to be "religion" but, rather, planned for an intimate relationship between God and humans and created the rites/rules as a way for us to regrow our relationship with God. His belief is that Jesus came to get rid of religion and re-establish the close relationship God had with Adam and Eve before they decided to eat the forbidden fruit. As I said I have a long way to go in reading this fascinating book. I am challenged already, however, to try to be more Christlike and less caught in rules/regulations, to try to trust God to work things out - and not get caught up in fair and unfair, to try to open myself to what God plans for me - not just do what is expected.
So these are my insights for this week. To be a better example of God's love and to focus on following Christ. Nothing too new - but coming from a different perspective for me. What are you doing to deepen your relationship with God? Something to ponder.....
My husband and I were in Florida Feb 10 - 17. We enjoyed the sun and some of the entertainment available in the Orlando area. While having dinner with some of the other people there representing AMBS, one woman told of her first trip to the"Magic Kingdom". She had felt somewhat guilty spending time and money on such a "worldly" pursuit - but had decided it was an experience she didn't want her kids to miss. While on the trip she had two "aha" moments. I have to admit I have forgotten one, but the other has stuck with me. She spoke of being struck by how the staff ("cast members") in Disneyworld are so friendly and cheerful and how that really infects the whole spirit of your visit there. You even find people smiling as they walk miles between rides or stand in line, and people generally being patient in lines, even letting others go ahead in line on occasion, and being very forgiving of mistakes etc. You don't see that so much in grocery stores. She asked what would happen if that was the impression people had of the church? If a secular organization can have that positive effect on people there for purely recreational purposes, shouldn't we be able to influence people seeking the comfort and joy of relationship with God? Shouldn't we be "The happiest place on earth"?
I've also been reading Bruxy Cavey's book The End of Religion. I haven't gotten too far as I ended up not reading as much as I thought I would on holidays - but the premise is quite fascinating: that God never intended for there to be "religion" but, rather, planned for an intimate relationship between God and humans and created the rites/rules as a way for us to regrow our relationship with God. His belief is that Jesus came to get rid of religion and re-establish the close relationship God had with Adam and Eve before they decided to eat the forbidden fruit. As I said I have a long way to go in reading this fascinating book. I am challenged already, however, to try to be more Christlike and less caught in rules/regulations, to try to trust God to work things out - and not get caught up in fair and unfair, to try to open myself to what God plans for me - not just do what is expected.
So these are my insights for this week. To be a better example of God's love and to focus on following Christ. Nothing too new - but coming from a different perspective for me. What are you doing to deepen your relationship with God? Something to ponder.....
Wednesday, 6 February 2013
Feb. 11 - Delilah
Ok most of us have heard of Delilah. We have images of a beautiful, seductive Philistine woman who betrayed the man who loved her. I even had the impression that they had been married. We see a Mata Hari type person, seductive, promiscuous and seemingly ammoral. But when we look at the story itself without all the preconceived impressions, we see a woman asked to help her country and be very well paid for it. She may not have liked Samson, may even have been somewhat disgusted by his arrogance and his destructive ways. The story says that Samson fell in love with her, it does not say she seduced or encouraged him. He was a well known, not very popular person - more infamous than famous. Maybe he was like so many celebrities today who just assume any woman who catches their eye will fall into bed with them. Who knows, maybe some of the Philistines he killed to get the robes he needed for his bet were important to her. Maybe some of the thousand men he slew in Lehi were relatives or friends. In any case, the "lords of the Philistines" hired Delilah to bring them information to get rid of Samson - and so she played the spy game and found out how to bring down this enemy of her people.
So often we build pictures of people based on our own biased outlook. We often forget there is another side of the story. Over and over as we look at these women who are mentioned in the Bible, we see that their stories are just touched on as a part of other stories. We recognize that we know so little about their lives, their families, their feelings. How often are we like that in our day to day lives? Judging others by how their actions affect us? My son has gently (?) reminded me that the fans for the opposing team are probably not really that much different than the fans on our side - but to me they are SOOOOO annoying (while we are just supportive)! That person driving speed limit in front of us when we want to go faster because "everybody" does on this road - really does have the right, and even the legal obligation to go that speed. My not leaving enough time for travel is not their fault. To me, however, they are frustratingly in my way and therefore must be obnoxious people! I can see this having implications even in making church decisions: Do we really listen to those who have different opinions or are we just busy thinking of statements to rebut what they have said so we have a better chance of "winning" the vote, having things go our way (as opposed to the way of those stubborn selfish people who think differently)?
I think in my head the three stories of Samson with women, (his marriage, his night with a hooker and his relationship with Delilah) all had merged into one, giving me a warped sense of who Delilah was. I do kind of wonder what was going on in her head and whether Samson really cared for her and whether she felt any kind of affection for him. We really don't know. She plays a short lived but crucial role in his life and downfall.
How would the story be different if Samson was Philistine and Delilah was Israelite? Would she then be seen as a strong, resourceful, patriotic woman? Would the emphasis of the story be more on the brash cruelty of Samson's actions and the courage it took forDelilah to take on this powerful, volatile man? It is hard to justify playing with another person's emotions just to cause their downfall, but it is interesting to ponder the difference perspective makes. Who was really a hero here?
Apparently some people use this story as a cautionary tale against trusting a woman. This is really not fair. Now trusting a woman who has tried everything you named as making you weak - that was not so brilliant. He already had been betrayed by his wife and had been randomly killing the country people of this woman - yet somehow he didn't suspect that she might have alterior motives for wanting to know how to make him lose his power. This is not the same as building a real relationship with a woman with whom you have common interests and goals. I don't think this is the same as trying to get to know a woman, listening and trying to get in tune with her feelings. I guess there is a caution, though, to not be stupid about things. Take some responsibility for your actions and your decisions, recognizing that things may not work out. And maybe don't put your whole life in another person's hands so quickly.
I'm not sure I found this story particulary helpful or enlightening. An arrogant, self-righteous, physically powerful and violent man is brought down by his own bad judgement and yet is hailed as a hero of faith while the spy who brought him down is vilified. The only redeeming factors I see are a) that God works through flawed people (HOPE!) and b) that we need to remember there is always another side to a given story. So I will try to accept people, even those I don't understand or like, and listen to hear their side of the story even if it is inconvenient to me, recognizing that God may have brought them into my life to teach me something, maybe even something about myself; or maybe its not all about me after all, and God will use that person to bring about something wonderful somewhere else down the line. It is not up to me to know - but to trust God.
.
So often we build pictures of people based on our own biased outlook. We often forget there is another side of the story. Over and over as we look at these women who are mentioned in the Bible, we see that their stories are just touched on as a part of other stories. We recognize that we know so little about their lives, their families, their feelings. How often are we like that in our day to day lives? Judging others by how their actions affect us? My son has gently (?) reminded me that the fans for the opposing team are probably not really that much different than the fans on our side - but to me they are SOOOOO annoying (while we are just supportive)! That person driving speed limit in front of us when we want to go faster because "everybody" does on this road - really does have the right, and even the legal obligation to go that speed. My not leaving enough time for travel is not their fault. To me, however, they are frustratingly in my way and therefore must be obnoxious people! I can see this having implications even in making church decisions: Do we really listen to those who have different opinions or are we just busy thinking of statements to rebut what they have said so we have a better chance of "winning" the vote, having things go our way (as opposed to the way of those stubborn selfish people who think differently)?
I think in my head the three stories of Samson with women, (his marriage, his night with a hooker and his relationship with Delilah) all had merged into one, giving me a warped sense of who Delilah was. I do kind of wonder what was going on in her head and whether Samson really cared for her and whether she felt any kind of affection for him. We really don't know. She plays a short lived but crucial role in his life and downfall.
How would the story be different if Samson was Philistine and Delilah was Israelite? Would she then be seen as a strong, resourceful, patriotic woman? Would the emphasis of the story be more on the brash cruelty of Samson's actions and the courage it took forDelilah to take on this powerful, volatile man? It is hard to justify playing with another person's emotions just to cause their downfall, but it is interesting to ponder the difference perspective makes. Who was really a hero here?
Apparently some people use this story as a cautionary tale against trusting a woman. This is really not fair. Now trusting a woman who has tried everything you named as making you weak - that was not so brilliant. He already had been betrayed by his wife and had been randomly killing the country people of this woman - yet somehow he didn't suspect that she might have alterior motives for wanting to know how to make him lose his power. This is not the same as building a real relationship with a woman with whom you have common interests and goals. I don't think this is the same as trying to get to know a woman, listening and trying to get in tune with her feelings. I guess there is a caution, though, to not be stupid about things. Take some responsibility for your actions and your decisions, recognizing that things may not work out. And maybe don't put your whole life in another person's hands so quickly.
I'm not sure I found this story particulary helpful or enlightening. An arrogant, self-righteous, physically powerful and violent man is brought down by his own bad judgement and yet is hailed as a hero of faith while the spy who brought him down is vilified. The only redeeming factors I see are a) that God works through flawed people (HOPE!) and b) that we need to remember there is always another side to a given story. So I will try to accept people, even those I don't understand or like, and listen to hear their side of the story even if it is inconvenient to me, recognizing that God may have brought them into my life to teach me something, maybe even something about myself; or maybe its not all about me after all, and God will use that person to bring about something wonderful somewhere else down the line. It is not up to me to know - but to trust God.
.
Saturday, 2 February 2013
Feb 4 - Potiphar's wife
In Genesis 39 we have the story of Potiphar's wife, another nameless woman important to the story of God's people. Her persuit of Joseph and his constant refusal to give in to his owner's wife (remembering that he had been sold into slavery) demonstrate Joseph's goodness and faithfulness to God and his human master. Her lie that Joseph had tried to seduce her caused him to lose his favored position in Potiphar's house and landed him in jail, which ultimately ended up in his coming to the King's notice and rising to even higher status, that of King's advisor. So we usually just see her as an evil antagonist, necessary to the plotline, not as a real human being.
So who was she? I guess we'll never know too much. Her husband was an officer of Pharoah, a captain of the guard. This would imply that she had wealth and comfort. They could afford slaves, so she probably did not have to do much, if any, work. Perhaps she was bored. Perhaps her husband ignored her. Perhaps she just really liked the way Joseph looked and the way he handled their household. Often I picture her as one of those rich divas featured in so many soap operas - self important and petulant; expecting everyone to do as she says. This may or may not be true. I wonder if it was common back then for rich wives to sleep with their slaves?
When I read the story my thoughts drift to the stories of the south - of the slavery experienced in North America. How many times have we heard stories of Masters forcing their female slaves to sleep with them? and then selling them if they become pregnant? How often have we heard of families being sold to different people, children being torn from their parents, husbands and wives separated. We hear of the slaves being treated like animals, or worse - with no concern for family ties or health or religion. I can't help but wonder, if this is similar to Egypt back in Joseph's time, how he managed to put 'Mrs. Potiphar' off for as long as he did. I guess his station within the house would give him a modicum of power - and his physical strength would prevent her from physically forcing him - but it is still amazing that, when she was so adamant that he sleep with her that he could refuse while technically being her property.
Of course there is the possibility that she actually cared for him. That, through their interactions while running the household, the mistress developed a kind of love/respect for him (infatuation?) that made her wish for a deeper physical relationship as well. Maybe he cared for her, too, but could not betray his master or go against his belief that adultry was wrong. Maybe she just finally snapped. We've heard tales (especially on tv or movies) about obsessive "love".
In the Interpretation Commentary written by Walter Brueggemann it is suggested that this story is multi-layered. There is a common beginning with the Egyptian tale of Two Brothers - where the older brother's wife tries to seduce the younger brother who refuses her and ends up banished when she accuses him of attempted rape. In that story, after many twists and turns, the younger brother is reincarnated and becomes the Pharoah, naming his older brother as his trusted advisor. There is the idea that the Israelites know (and Mrs. Potiphar doesn't know) that Joseph's success is due to his being chosen by God and therefore his faithfulness to his belief makes sense. There is the conflict between the "empire" (Egypt) and the "dream" (Joseph's vision of ruling). The way to rise in the empire is to do as your are told by your superiors, The way to rise to the fulfilment of God's plan is to stay true to what God tells you. Joseph picked the "dream". There are themes and word usages that would have brought other stories to the mind of the ancient reader.
I guess the Bible doesn't tell us more about the wife of Potiphar because her motives and desires are not important. It is her actions that cause her inclusion at all. Because she managed to get Joseph imprisoned he came to the attention of the king's cup-bearer and baker. Because he interpreted their dreams correctly, the cup-bearer mentions him to Pharoah when he was troubled by dreams. Because Joseph was able to explain both Pharoah's dream and its meaning, Joseph was elevated to second in command in Egypt. So if it had not been for the foolish/evil desires of Potiphar's wife, Joseph may never have come to rule in Egypt.
What does this teach us? I'm not sure. That revenge sometimes backfires? Potiphar's household not only lost a great manager and all the blessings/prosperity he brought, but also ended up lower than Joseph in society. Maybe we learn that we have no idea what results our actions good (Joseph staying true) or bad (Mrs. Potiphar lying) may have. Maybe that God is in control no matter what. In the end run, this is what matters. God is in control and can use current "horrible-ness" to bring future "right-ness". It doesn't seem fair - we live in the small picture and may not be around for the "happy ending" or the big picture corrections. I guess this is where faith comes in. When Joseph said no to pleasing his owner's wife, he did not know if this was going to be the end of him, or if he would rot in jail for the rest of his life or whether he would be ok. He had to trust. And so do we.
So who was she? I guess we'll never know too much. Her husband was an officer of Pharoah, a captain of the guard. This would imply that she had wealth and comfort. They could afford slaves, so she probably did not have to do much, if any, work. Perhaps she was bored. Perhaps her husband ignored her. Perhaps she just really liked the way Joseph looked and the way he handled their household. Often I picture her as one of those rich divas featured in so many soap operas - self important and petulant; expecting everyone to do as she says. This may or may not be true. I wonder if it was common back then for rich wives to sleep with their slaves?
When I read the story my thoughts drift to the stories of the south - of the slavery experienced in North America. How many times have we heard stories of Masters forcing their female slaves to sleep with them? and then selling them if they become pregnant? How often have we heard of families being sold to different people, children being torn from their parents, husbands and wives separated. We hear of the slaves being treated like animals, or worse - with no concern for family ties or health or religion. I can't help but wonder, if this is similar to Egypt back in Joseph's time, how he managed to put 'Mrs. Potiphar' off for as long as he did. I guess his station within the house would give him a modicum of power - and his physical strength would prevent her from physically forcing him - but it is still amazing that, when she was so adamant that he sleep with her that he could refuse while technically being her property.
Of course there is the possibility that she actually cared for him. That, through their interactions while running the household, the mistress developed a kind of love/respect for him (infatuation?) that made her wish for a deeper physical relationship as well. Maybe he cared for her, too, but could not betray his master or go against his belief that adultry was wrong. Maybe she just finally snapped. We've heard tales (especially on tv or movies) about obsessive "love".
In the Interpretation Commentary written by Walter Brueggemann it is suggested that this story is multi-layered. There is a common beginning with the Egyptian tale of Two Brothers - where the older brother's wife tries to seduce the younger brother who refuses her and ends up banished when she accuses him of attempted rape. In that story, after many twists and turns, the younger brother is reincarnated and becomes the Pharoah, naming his older brother as his trusted advisor. There is the idea that the Israelites know (and Mrs. Potiphar doesn't know) that Joseph's success is due to his being chosen by God and therefore his faithfulness to his belief makes sense. There is the conflict between the "empire" (Egypt) and the "dream" (Joseph's vision of ruling). The way to rise in the empire is to do as your are told by your superiors, The way to rise to the fulfilment of God's plan is to stay true to what God tells you. Joseph picked the "dream". There are themes and word usages that would have brought other stories to the mind of the ancient reader.
I guess the Bible doesn't tell us more about the wife of Potiphar because her motives and desires are not important. It is her actions that cause her inclusion at all. Because she managed to get Joseph imprisoned he came to the attention of the king's cup-bearer and baker. Because he interpreted their dreams correctly, the cup-bearer mentions him to Pharoah when he was troubled by dreams. Because Joseph was able to explain both Pharoah's dream and its meaning, Joseph was elevated to second in command in Egypt. So if it had not been for the foolish/evil desires of Potiphar's wife, Joseph may never have come to rule in Egypt.
What does this teach us? I'm not sure. That revenge sometimes backfires? Potiphar's household not only lost a great manager and all the blessings/prosperity he brought, but also ended up lower than Joseph in society. Maybe we learn that we have no idea what results our actions good (Joseph staying true) or bad (Mrs. Potiphar lying) may have. Maybe that God is in control no matter what. In the end run, this is what matters. God is in control and can use current "horrible-ness" to bring future "right-ness". It doesn't seem fair - we live in the small picture and may not be around for the "happy ending" or the big picture corrections. I guess this is where faith comes in. When Joseph said no to pleasing his owner's wife, he did not know if this was going to be the end of him, or if he would rot in jail for the rest of his life or whether he would be ok. He had to trust. And so do we.
Jan 28 - Tamar
The story of Tamar is an unsavory tale of rejection, deception and evil. It sounds as though she could well have been abused by her first husband, an "evil man". When he died, due to Levirite laws, she had no choice but be married to her brother in law. He did not treat her well either. He seemed more than willing to sleep with her,whether or not she wanted to, but "spilled his seed" so she would not become pregnant. This left her in a position of shame without hope of having a child. According to the text God killed him for his evil. Understandably, at this point, Judah was leary of allowing his third and final son to marry this woman who, as far as he could tell, had caused the death of his other sons. He sends her back to her parents, instead. This is unthinkable. Now she has no options, no one to look after her and no hope of husband or children - her future is hopeless. So she takes it upon herself to force her father-in-law to right this wrong. After her mother-in-law dies, she dresses as a prostitute when her father in law is coming to town. He does not recognize her and "hires" her. When she becomes pregnant he is appalled - Now he is concerned with his family's appearance in society. Even though he obviously has slept with at least one woman outside of wedlock, and has bannished Tamar to a hopeless situation, he feels righteously indignent. It is only when she proves that he is the father of her children that he repents and allows her to live, though not with any status since she still was not married. At least she had her children.
This is an aweful story. A woman who was so abused and misused that she turned to questionable (at best) means to get what was rightfully hers. I have no answers for what she should have done. Throughout history there are stories of people in hopeless situations - some with triumphant endings, many not. I don't think those of us with relatively comfortable lives with lots of options can really judge their actions.
I think there are things that we can learn, though. Judah was blind to his sons' faults. Even though, as far as we know, Tamar had nothing to do with his sons' deaths, he blamed her, not them or their activities, for their being struck down. I think we all need to be aware that most stories have more than one side and that we need to realize we may not know all the relevant facts. We need to be open to discovering new facets to a story that seems somewhat straight foreward. And we need to be aware that we tend toward finding a scape goat - someone to blame when things are bad. Somehow we need to step back and see that it may not be anyone else's fault and that the story may have more sides than we can see.
It also seems no attempt was made, by Judah, his wife or sons to find out how Tamar was doing and how they could make it better. There was no real consideration of her as a real person. She was cast as Er's wife, not as a woman with wants and needs. This, too, is a trap we sometimes fall into. We think we know a person. We judge him or her by some actions we see or by his or her position in the church or community. The fact is that all of us are many faceted. We have hopes, dreams, pains and disappointments that affect our view of and reaction to any situation. Before we write anyone off we need to take the time to get to know him or her and see the good and the bad, We need to tear down the stereotype or pre-judgement and get to know, or at least glimpse, the whole person.
Our discussion centred around the hopelessness that many people, through fate or circumstance, people find themselves experiencing. Culture, finances, religion, age,and/or ill-health can all play into their situation. How do we make things better? We also talked about women's use of their sexuality. Tamar went to extremes - but how many of us use our sexuality in one way or another to get what we want or need? Or do we stifle it in order to seem more masculine and capable of handling business in "a man's world"? There were a lot of tough questions and I'm not sure we have a lot of answers. We do, however, have a kind of sad respect for Tamar who was so desperate she gave up her pride to pose as a prostitute and sleep with her father-in-law, risking her life for the chance at motherhood and at least a modicum of respect in society.
None of us is perfect. We do drastic things when we are desparate. We judge people and ignore people. Sometimes we hurt people. Sometimes we put ourselves before others. But even though both Judah and Tamar were far from perfect people, they became Jesus' ancestors. From all this deception, evil, and hopelessness comes that man that brings us all truth, love, peace and hope. I do take hope from this, that even us imperfect people can help further God's plans.
This is an aweful story. A woman who was so abused and misused that she turned to questionable (at best) means to get what was rightfully hers. I have no answers for what she should have done. Throughout history there are stories of people in hopeless situations - some with triumphant endings, many not. I don't think those of us with relatively comfortable lives with lots of options can really judge their actions.
I think there are things that we can learn, though. Judah was blind to his sons' faults. Even though, as far as we know, Tamar had nothing to do with his sons' deaths, he blamed her, not them or their activities, for their being struck down. I think we all need to be aware that most stories have more than one side and that we need to realize we may not know all the relevant facts. We need to be open to discovering new facets to a story that seems somewhat straight foreward. And we need to be aware that we tend toward finding a scape goat - someone to blame when things are bad. Somehow we need to step back and see that it may not be anyone else's fault and that the story may have more sides than we can see.
It also seems no attempt was made, by Judah, his wife or sons to find out how Tamar was doing and how they could make it better. There was no real consideration of her as a real person. She was cast as Er's wife, not as a woman with wants and needs. This, too, is a trap we sometimes fall into. We think we know a person. We judge him or her by some actions we see or by his or her position in the church or community. The fact is that all of us are many faceted. We have hopes, dreams, pains and disappointments that affect our view of and reaction to any situation. Before we write anyone off we need to take the time to get to know him or her and see the good and the bad, We need to tear down the stereotype or pre-judgement and get to know, or at least glimpse, the whole person.
Our discussion centred around the hopelessness that many people, through fate or circumstance, people find themselves experiencing. Culture, finances, religion, age,and/or ill-health can all play into their situation. How do we make things better? We also talked about women's use of their sexuality. Tamar went to extremes - but how many of us use our sexuality in one way or another to get what we want or need? Or do we stifle it in order to seem more masculine and capable of handling business in "a man's world"? There were a lot of tough questions and I'm not sure we have a lot of answers. We do, however, have a kind of sad respect for Tamar who was so desperate she gave up her pride to pose as a prostitute and sleep with her father-in-law, risking her life for the chance at motherhood and at least a modicum of respect in society.
None of us is perfect. We do drastic things when we are desparate. We judge people and ignore people. Sometimes we hurt people. Sometimes we put ourselves before others. But even though both Judah and Tamar were far from perfect people, they became Jesus' ancestors. From all this deception, evil, and hopelessness comes that man that brings us all truth, love, peace and hope. I do take hope from this, that even us imperfect people can help further God's plans.
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