March 4 - Job's Wife

Well I kinda got behind in blogging my thoughts - I guess life interferes some times.

I was a bit surprised to see Job's wife listed as a "bad girl" of the Bible.  Not that  I had thought much about her, but mostly I saw her as a neutral personality.  She is mentioned only in that she encourages her husband to "Curse God and die."  It seems that, for some, this has relegated her to the status of a cold, faithless, even evil person. 

I do not see her that way. 

First of all, she has lost everything too.  She has lost the children she bore, she has lost the status that comes with wealth and possessions, and now she is slowly losing her husband. The stress and grief she bore must have felt unbearable.  It is not surprising she would feel little hope of things returning to their former normality. It is not surprising she would want to give in.

Secondly, she was watching helplessly as her husband endured pain and humiliation, sitting in the ashes, waiting for healing to come. Have you ever watched a loved one suffer?  Her cry may have been one of compassion, one of grief and despair. There was nothing she could do - no words or actions that could make this better - death may have seemed the only hope of reprieve. How can wanting some peace for your husband be bad?  If she was speaking from the dark corners of depression, can we not understand how she may have felt that too much was being asked of her and, especially Job?

We do not hear of anyone comforting her.  We do not hear whether Job's rebuke was gentle or angy but it seems dismissive.  We do not know if anyone took any notice of her.  Barbara J. Essex draws out of this questions of how women can be heard.  How can we make a difference and not just be shrugged off.  While these are important questions I don't seem them central to this story.  I feel more cenral is the warning to see the other person as a whole person.  I was told of a person teaching referees about interacting with players/coaches who used the phrase - you don't know who's dog died.  There is often baggage behind comments that may seem offensive - it may be that their dog just died and they are grieving and are taking it out on the next person to cause a minor frustration.  It may be they are at the limits of their tolerance and they just blow up when they feel one more thing is being asked.  It may be that you remind them of an old nemesis. We don't know.  So we need to work at being patient and getting to the real problem. If there is anything we can do to help, we need to find what it is. If there is not, or if they won't let you get to the real problem, we need to let go and not let the aggressiveness of their action/reaction change us for the worse.  First we need NOT to judge. 

I think that is more of what I take from this story of a woman who has been demonized for saying what was, arguably, the wrong thing to say while under incredible stress.  Let us try to be more understanding of those around us.