October 26 - Practicing Presence through weeping and in the Wilderness

There were fewer of us that met this Monday, but we had a valuable time of practicing presence with each other.

We began with the story of the raising of Lazarus from John 11:17-36. Reading it in a different version (The Message) brought out some different aspects of the story.  Was Jesus angry with all the mourners?  If so, why? Or was he caught up with their emotions?  When he wept - was it from anger and frustration or was it mourning Lazarus or from some other emotion?  Unfortunately we did not have any answers, but it did bring up the idea that tears come from different emotional places.

So how do you feel when someone cries in your presence?  There was a Sudanese funeral in our church just over a week ago, and some of the mourners were overwhelmed with grief - crumpling to the floor because it was just too much.  We don't see that much in our society.  We like to stay in control - put a lid on our emotions. Some of the mourners at that recent funeral were not hampered by that ideal.  And some of their Canadian friends were willing to sit with them and cry with them.  This is what practicing presence is - being fully present to others' pain.  This is often not so easy to do.  We, like many people we meet in the Bible, want to "jump to the resurrection".  We want to go to the happy ending and avoid feeling all that comes before.

Our efforts to skip over the mourning can hinder others' healing.  We don't have to find words to make others feel better, just spend time with them, where they are, so they know they are not alone in their time of sadness and loss.

As it says in Romans 12:15, we should "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."

We moved on to Matthew 4:1-11 and the story of Jesus' temptation in the wilderness.  We all had trouble imagining not eating for forty days - let alone refusing food after that.  That was our biggest temptation.  But seriously, how did Jesus have the fortitude to turn down the temptation to turn rocks into bread?  He must have been hungry.  He would not have been hurting anyone else. How did he manage not to give in?

Just prior to his heading into the wilderness, Jesus was baptized. As he rose from the river a voice from Heaven claimed him as God's own son. Did this make a difference?  Did some of the strength to keep going and resist the temptation of an easy fix come from the confidence that was displayed in that declaration? How can we remind our brothers and sisters that they, too, are loved and claimed by God?  Is there a way to get this notion so ingrained it stays with us even through the times of wilderness & temptation?

Jesus also called upon memorized Scriptures to withstand the seemingly logical arguments of the tempter.  Is this guidance for something we can do to help when we are going through hard times? Will having memorized scriptures and hymns (and poetry?) help?

The number 40 seems to be significant.  In Biblical times 40 is a number of completion, of cleansing, of growth. There are 40 weeks of gestation for the birth of a full term child.  There were 40 days (and 40 nights) of rain for the flood.  There are 40 litres of water in the bath for ritual cleansing.  For Forty years the Israelites wandered in the wilderness.  It takes about 40 years for power etc. to pass to the next generation (traditionally). Maybe sometimes we need to go through the process, through the 40 days of testing or trials in order to come out whole on the other side.

It is hard to understand but it seems that we need to develop a kind of patience.  Just as Jesus didn't skip to the resurrection when he met Martha and then Mary but took time to mourn with them, we need to be prepared to wait, to journey, to endure, until the time of completion - until our 40 days (or however long) is over and we are cleansed and ready to accept the ministrations of angels, the resurrection, or whatever the outcome that awaits on the other side of our wildernesses.

We talked a lot about our wildernesses.  And yes, there was weeping.  We truly practiced presence with each other as we shared difficult times in our lives and in the lives of others' we care about.  It was closer to 40 minutes than 40 days/weeks/years - but it was good.  Sometimes it is good to just let the masks, the walls, the composure slip away and be truly present with each other.  May each of us experience that kind of presence with others in our lives.