In his introduction to Romans, Marcus Borg (Evolution of the Word) emphasizes that when Paul speaks of being saved, he is not referring to going to heaven but talking "about transformation this side of death -- the transformation of ourselves and of "this world"." This puts an interesting twist on the whole justification by grace through faith. With today's view of Christianity and moral living as a hardship, it is an interesting exercise to encourage oneself to look at the relationship with Christ and the benefits of having faith here and now as the prize for which we are going. But if you think about it, it makes sense. I just read a novel where the antagonist was going after the protagonist just because the hero was happy and his, seemingly more successful, 'friend' wasn't. With faith, through grace, we can be happy - even if we aren't the richest, the most successful, the most talented (etc.). There can be an underlying joy, even in times of hardship and sorrow. We can influence the people around us, not by winning popularity contests, but by being an example of living fully with whatever we have. Reading Romans with this in mind is exciting and a different kind of challenging.
Another point Borg makes is that 'faith' had a different meaning then than it does for many people today. We emphasize believing the right set of claims about Jesus to be true. But in Paul's day these 'beliefs' were assumed, and faith meant loyalty to and trust in a person. So if you didn't have faith, it wasn't that you didn't believe 'facts' about Jesus, it was that you were anxious, doubted Jesus and what his life meant. In today's stress filled society - I guess many of us fall short of truly having faith in Jesus.
We are all affected by our surroundings, our context. So it is difficult to read Paul's letters exactly as he meant them. For me, this time, what I kept seeing was "do not judge" (2:2), "all are under the power of sin" (3:9); "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (8:1); "Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law"(13:10) "Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister?...For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God" (14:10) "Let us therefore no longer pass judgement on one another" (14:13) etc. In these days I see the liberal and conservative factions of the church passing judgement on each other on a regular basis. I see, even within our small congregation, people judging each other and feeling justified in bad behavior/rhetoric because the other faction is found wanting - and I do it too. I judge the people who verbally attack people I respect. How do we stand up for what we believe, and for those we care about, without judging? How do we live by love? This is a quandary. Romans says love is the goal - we need to work harder on that. So, once again, I found a real challenge in this letter.
I also found myself fighting what seems to be a defense of predestination in Chapter 9. It makes it sound like some people are just destined to have "hardened hearts" . I don't really have an answer. When I read it another time it reads differently to me and I can read it as God seeing who will accept mercy and who will not instead of determining it. This is something I will have to ponder further another time.
In general, though, I found Romans to be a wonderful, uplifting book. Thinking about how true faith can change lives and make such a difference in outlook. Salvation is not about what we do - for we do the things we don't want to do and don't do the things we do want to (7:19). It is not about whether we are Jew or Gentile (or what form of Christianity we choose, for that matter) - we all mess up but, through faith, have all become children of Abraham and therefore heirs to God's promises. It is God's amazing grace that gives us a centre - something to trust, something to rely on no matter what is happening around and to us. For we can know "all things work together for good for those who love God..." (8:28)."If God is for us, who is against us?" (8:31); "...in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.: (8:37). "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved." (10:13).
In other words we can relax, rest in the knowledge that we are good enough. Actually we can't be good enough - but God has declared us good enough to receive love and acceptance just as we are. We don't have to stress. We can be happy - not necessarily the bubbly smiley bouncy kind of happy - but filled with an inner joy that comes from the assurance that God is watching over us God loves us and will take care of us. When others "persecute" us, or things go wrong, it doesn't matter because we know what is really important - We are precious children of God. When we make mistakes, we don't have to hang our heads in shame - God loves us anyway! We are forgiven not perfect. There is such peace in knowing that we don't have to work so hard to be what God wants us to be - we already are. Yes, there is still the challenge to present our "bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God". But even that is easier when we know that we are already holy and acceptable to God. We still want to do good, we want to praise God with our very being - in all we say and do - this is a way of saying thank you for all God does for us - but when we are tired, or say or do the wrong thing - we can keep going because we know - we have faith - that God loves us and accepts us anyway.
I don't have the right words to express how much this brings me hope. As someone who deals regularly with depression and guilt and even shame - sometimes over things completely out of my control - there is a relief in knowing it's OK not to be good enough on my own. It's OK that I can't do everything so many of the amazing women I know can do. It's even OK that I don't have as many close friendships as so many other women seem to have. It doesn't feel OK - and I won't promise that it won't bother me - but if I focus on the promises, the arguments, the words of the letter to the Romans - I can rest in the knowledge that it is OK - that I am OK - not because of who I am or what I do - but because God has said so and I choose to believe.
"Now to God who is able to strengthen you ...be the glory forever!"
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