Ok most of us have heard of Delilah. We have images of a beautiful, seductive Philistine woman who betrayed the man who loved her. I even had the impression that they had been married. We see a Mata Hari type person, seductive, promiscuous and seemingly ammoral. But when we look at the story itself without all the preconceived impressions, we see a woman asked to help her country and be very well paid for it. She may not have liked Samson, may even have been somewhat disgusted by his arrogance and his destructive ways. The story says that Samson fell in love with her, it does not say she seduced or encouraged him. He was a well known, not very popular person - more infamous than famous. Maybe he was like so many celebrities today who just assume any woman who catches their eye will fall into bed with them. Who knows, maybe some of the Philistines he killed to get the robes he needed for his bet were important to her. Maybe some of the thousand men he slew in Lehi were relatives or friends. In any case, the "lords of the Philistines" hired Delilah to bring them information to get rid of Samson - and so she played the spy game and found out how to bring down this enemy of her people.
So often we build pictures of people based on our own biased outlook. We often forget there is another side of the story. Over and over as we look at these women who are mentioned in the Bible, we see that their stories are just touched on as a part of other stories. We recognize that we know so little about their lives, their families, their feelings. How often are we like that in our day to day lives? Judging others by how their actions affect us? My son has gently (?) reminded me that the fans for the opposing team are probably not really that much different than the fans on our side - but to me they are SOOOOO annoying (while we are just supportive)! That person driving speed limit in front of us when we want to go faster because "everybody" does on this road - really does have the right, and even the legal obligation to go that speed. My not leaving enough time for travel is not their fault. To me, however, they are frustratingly in my way and therefore must be obnoxious people! I can see this having implications even in making church decisions: Do we really listen to those who have different opinions or are we just busy thinking of statements to rebut what they have said so we have a better chance of "winning" the vote, having things go our way (as opposed to the way of those stubborn selfish people who think differently)?
I think in my head the three stories of Samson with women, (his marriage, his night with a hooker and his relationship with Delilah) all had merged into one, giving me a warped sense of who Delilah was. I do kind of wonder what was going on in her head and whether Samson really cared for her and whether she felt any kind of affection for him. We really don't know. She plays a short lived but crucial role in his life and downfall.
How would the story be different if Samson was Philistine and Delilah was Israelite? Would she then be seen as a strong, resourceful, patriotic woman? Would the emphasis of the story be more on the brash cruelty of Samson's actions and the courage it took forDelilah to take on this powerful, volatile man? It is hard to justify playing with another person's emotions just to cause their downfall, but it is interesting to ponder the difference perspective makes. Who was really a hero here?
Apparently some people use this story as a cautionary tale against trusting a woman. This is really not fair. Now trusting a woman who has tried everything you named as making you weak - that was not so brilliant. He already had been betrayed by his wife and had been randomly killing the country people of this woman - yet somehow he didn't suspect that she might have alterior motives for wanting to know how to make him lose his power. This is not the same as building a real relationship with a woman with whom you have common interests and goals. I don't think this is the same as trying to get to know a woman, listening and trying to get in tune with her feelings. I guess there is a caution, though, to not be stupid about things. Take some responsibility for your actions and your decisions, recognizing that things may not work out. And maybe don't put your whole life in another person's hands so quickly.
I'm not sure I found this story particulary helpful or enlightening. An arrogant, self-righteous, physically powerful and violent man is brought down by his own bad judgement and yet is hailed as a hero of faith while the spy who brought him down is vilified. The only redeeming factors I see are a) that God works through flawed people (HOPE!) and b) that we need to remember there is always another side to a given story. So I will try to accept people, even those I don't understand or like, and listen to hear their side of the story even if it is inconvenient to me, recognizing that God may have brought them into my life to teach me something, maybe even something about myself; or maybe its not all about me after all, and God will use that person to bring about something wonderful somewhere else down the line. It is not up to me to know - but to trust God.
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